Author name: hill

three sisters.



so today, i’m embracing the camera with my sisters!
this past weekend, my sister, Aunt CC 
came to town because my other sister, Aunt WW
and i threw her a shower.
a baby shower none-the-less.

i can’t believe that my 
baby sister 
is going to have a baby of her own.

here are the four generations of girls, 
plus the baby
(for the record, i think it’s totally a boy). 

and here is my sister’s mother-in-law 
(proud grandma to-be)
and sisters-in-law 
(proud aunts to-be).

Mrs. H came to town with Aunt CC 
and was so lovely to get to know.

and this was just about 
the loveliest item i have ever seen at a baby shower. 
or ever.

the caterer brought his very own carousel horse to be used as decor.
i wanted to bring it home with me. 

the theme for the shower was whales.
so here is a mama whale and a baby whale.
and just so you know, 
we don’t think my sister looks like a whale.

i couldn’t finish this post 
without adding this 
absolutely adorable photo
of my cousin’s sweet bride and L. 
don’t they even look alike?
yes, yes they do.

my dad and brother graciously enough watched 
all three kids
while the party was going on
(B was conveniently out of town).
at one point, none of the children were napping 
but they must have worn my dad out enough 
because i found him sound asleep.
at least someone heard me when i said that it was naptime. 

when the party was over 
and the big kids were allowed to come downstairs, 
they each enjoyed their very own slice of cake.
i asked the caterer to cut the thinnest slice he has ever cut before.
and sure enough, it was the smallest piece of cake i have ever seen. 
they still ran around like crazies once the sugar was absorbed.

721. being able to use my china alongside my mom’s and grandmother’s
722. seeing so much family
723. showering my sister
724. having a day off
725. this book

picture me {im}perfectly.

this week’s 
picture me {im}perfectly
won’t be nearly as intense as last week’s.
phew.

for our Christmas card, 
65 photos were taken
and we ended up with only
three legitimate options.
all of which needed a little photoshopping by my sister. 

you see, this year, 
D blessed us 
(and nearly all of our photos)
with a collection of the funny faces 
that he has been working on in 2010. 

yep, he thought he was pretty funny 

and that somehow he was actually going to get away with those shenanigans.
which of course, he did.
that is, until i downloaded the photos.

and this one, 
is one of my absolute favorite photos.
i am seriously contemplating putting it above our mantle.
it makes me laugh 
every.
single.
time.
i look at it. 
this is our life. 

picture me {im}perfectly
is a weekly project to reveal that we don’t have it all together.

i will post a 
picture me {im}perfectly
blog post every wednesday 
where you will be able to link up to your blog
(or leave a comment)
for the whole week
(until the following tuesday).
revealing that:
you are not picture perfect,
your kids are not picture perfect,
your house is not picture perfect,
your crafts are not always picture perfect,

let’s 
encourage, 
inspire and 
remind 
other women 
that none of us have it all together.



add my button to your blog post
and link up to your direct posting
and feel encouraged.

716. reading to a freshly bathed babe, even if it is way past his bedtime
717. K’s willingness to do anything
718. extra moments that the Lord blessed me with in order to finish my CBS lesson
719. clean floors
720. no traffic

three hours.

as i write this, i’m sitting in our office,
all by my lonesome.

i’m drinking a dr. pepper 
(with a fresh lime wedge… my favorite)
with three hours ahead of me.
yes, three entire hours.
isn’t my husband great?

i have loud music that is sure to 
not 
wake any sleeping child,
particularly this cute little one:


for Christmas, my parents gave me 
a gift certificate to get my blog made into a book for 2010. 
i’m working on that right now 
and the program is currently uploading 1,322 photos.
so i wait.

and today, i’m going to start this 
(and you should too!)

Photobucket
711. a fabulous weekend (more on that soon!)
712. getting to sleep in until 9am on saturday (thank you, dad)
713. hanging with my sisters
714. the perfect beach evening
715. three hours

He’s calling.

you know 
and i know 
that i have mentioned the 
more than once on this little blog. 
but i must mention it again.


every single day, 
this devotional has spoken directly to me.
to me.
i don’t know if it is speaking as clearly 
to anyone else going through it, 
but it is as though it is written for me. 
just for me.

every day, 
i am met with exactly what i need to hear
to draw me closer to Him. 
to be in His presence more.
to let go of everything else.

with Jesus Calling, 
it’s kind of like Jesus is writing love notes.
to me.

although, i do have to admit that 
for the first time, 
two days in a row, 
i read an entry and didn’t feel like He was speaking to me.
but, it turns out that i had accidentally skipped ahead to february.
problem solved.

706. Jesus Calling
707. returning to CBS after not going for two weeks 
708. sleeping for nine hours (thanks to B)
709. worshiping at church last sunday
710. breakfast out

not a one.



yesterday
was a much better day than
the day and
the week and
the weeks
prior.

there weren’t any tears.
not a one.
it was extremely cathartic for me to write my post yesterday
and today, i feel better.

it is a constant struggle for me to be here.
but it is a struggle i am not willing to give into. 




and if you’ll notice in this series of photos, that bookshelf is looking much better.
don’t get me wrong, 
it is bound to become a mess again soon, 
but for the moment, 
it is doing okay.

701. bike rides at 5pm in shorts and t-shirts
702. picnics that are filled with running around
703. a great OT session for L
704. L sleeping through the night
705. feeling (somewhat) rested

picture me {im}perfectly.

i have something to share.
because i want to make sure that you
picture me {im}perfectly.


just like this bookshelf, 
i am a mess.

i have had a couple of rough weeks.
in fact, i have had more breakdowns
in the last few weeks than i have in a
long, long time.
and they have been the kind of breakdowns
that leave you tearful throughout the day
and given long enough to have 
only one thought 
running through your mind at one time, 
tears come flowing.
no matter if you are 
driving, 
at the grocery store, 
washing your face, 
changing a diaper, 
doing the dishes or 
reading a book to your children. 

i’ve been worn out.
really worn out.
like, 
“i can’t go on like this”
worn out.

when i have less sleep, 
i then feel 
vulnerable and 
anxious and 
not hungry and 
then this becomes a vicious cycle 
filled with
worry and 
fear and 
stress.

i know that a lot of it has been due to my lack of sleep.
but it’s also my weakness coming out.

we have had a couple of hard doctor’s appointments as of late and
i am usually able to translate what the doctors have to say about L 
into the hope and encouragement that God provides
but sometimes, 
particularly when i am worn down, 
it is hard for me.
i am just too tired to translate.
and so i dwell.
and i sink
and i get stuck
and then
i think about the future.

a few months ago, i heard an incredible sermon that addressed just this. 
the pastor said,
“doubt your doubts. 
be absolutely assured in His love.
because if we have despair, we see the end.”
which we don’t.
because we can’t.
and i praise God for that.
because none of us know what is going to happen.
at any given moment.
and that to me, 
is a wonderful, 
wonderful thing.

a friend recently said, 
that having children 
(special needs or not) 
is like having your heart outside of your body.
isn’t that a perfect description?
just perfect.

so when i think about the future, 
i get stuck in the specialists’ world 
instead of being firmly planted in my world 
of hope and joy in Christ.
the kind of joy that can only come from Him.

i am going through a grieving pricess.
again.
one that i haven’t gone through 
since hearing about L’s diagnosis, 
on day two of his birth.

but all of these feelings have stemmed from selfishness.
complete and total selfishness

i’m being 
stretched and 
challenged and 
changed by God.
and i am so grateful for that.
really, i am. 
and you know what else?
it’s not about me.
it’s about Him. 

the truth is, 
i am so grateful to God for all that we are going through.
truly.
though sometimes, 
when i consider what we are currently going through, 
i melt down.
my thoughts become so ovewrwhelming.
too overwhelming
to handle on my own.
and that’s because 
me,
alone
is not His intended purpose.
i can’t do this.
not on my own.
it’s just not possible.
but with Jesus by my side, 
i know that i can handle whatever is thrown at me 
(literally and figuratively)
and glorify Him in the process.

i want Him to be my everything.

pour out your heart to God. 
trust Him today. 
He shows His promise and His truth. 
(i think Charles Wesley said that)

We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, 
so that our ministry will not be discredited. 
Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way:
in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses;
in beatings, imprisonments and riots;
in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger;
in purity, understanding, patience and kindness;
in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love;
in truthful speech and in the power of God;
with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;
through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report;
genuine, yet regarded as impostors;
known, yet regarded as unknown;
dying, and yet we live on;
beaten, and yet not killed;
sorrowful, yet always rejoicing;
poor, yet making many rich;
having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
2 Corinthians 6:3-10

picture me {im}perfectly

is a weekly project to reveal that we don’t have it all together.

i will post a 
picture me {im}perfectly
blog post every wednesday 
where you will be able to link up to your blog
(or leave a comment)
until the following tuesday.
revealing that:

you are not picture perfect,
your kids are not picture perfect,
your house is not picture perfect,
your crafts are not always picture perfect,

let’s 
encourage, 
inspire and 
remind 
other women 
that none of us have it all together.  

add my button to your blog post
and link up to your direct posting
and feel encouraged.

696. L (finally) sleeping enough during the day (thanks to my parents)
697. B, who completely, utterly and totally gets me
698. the moon shine
699. B’s bedtime story for the bigs every single night
700. being comforted by Scripture in the middle of the night

a winter fall.

yes, i know that we are nearing the end of january.
and yes, i know that is is quite cold in other parts of the country.

but our leaves are changing and falling here.
and oh, is it ever glorious!

the kids and i headed to a park where we found
brownish-yellow leaves dancing all around us
as we enjoyed a picnic in the sunshine.

(please, please don’t hate me,
all of you who haven’t seen the sun in weeks.)
quite possibly one of my most favorite photos.
ever.

falling leaves and sundresses.
what could be better?

well, maybe
D’s fake smile.

or this sweet little guy, enjoying his yogurt.

Photobucket


691. afternoons filled with naps and football
692. going out to brunch for birthday celebrations
693. most of a day just to myself
694. my favorite quilt
695. chocolate covered raisins

here.

i wasn’t sure if i was going to do this or not, 
for fear that i was already spreading myself too thinly 
(like normal)
on just this twenty first day of january.
but then, while i was resting in Him,
the
perfect
word
came
to
me.
in a brief whisper from Him, 
i knew that i needed to focus on a word for this year
and i knew what this word was going to be.

here.


i really struggle with being here.
i long to be here.
not here a couple of moments ago
or in a couple of moments when i reflect on my time being here.
but simply here.
right here.
right now.
here.

my children constantly show me what it is like to simply
be here. 

686. resting in His Presence
687. the beautiful bright red pomegranates on my neighbor’s tree
688. one word
689. L continually doing touchdown
690. free babysitters
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