amidst the digging for clean clothes
in the laundry basket filled way past the brim
with unfolded woven-together cotton,
(why do i ever let that always happen?
i hate it so.)
and the searching for that one library book.
always that one that has escaped.
and the daily duties
that somehow fill up all the hours
of each and every day.
my Community Bible Study teacher has often said
“come apart or you will come apart.”
so what do i do to fill back up?
anytime that i can
think one thought.
beginning to end.
without pushing pause.
all by myself.
loud music in the car.
even if it is for only two minutes.
photo taking.
which always, always
causes me to be right here.
in this moment.
worship at our amazing church.
where it is dark,
the children are well cared for.
and you can only see the silhouette of the worship band.
sipping warm coffee from my mug.
at home.
there is nothing so luxurious as that to me.
it signifies an un-rushed time at home.
in the morning-ish.
which doesn’t happen every day.
or really any day.
painting my toenails.
even if its not even close to perfect.
enjoying this life.
even while my heart aches.
and stresses come and stay.
not being a human doer but a human being.
(a great pastor said that one)
those things get me from
one moment to the next.
so what do you do to fill back up?
Great peace have those
who love your law,
and nothing can make them stumble.
Psalm 119:165